Refiner's Fire

 Refining By Fire:

It has been said many times that “God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.”  In my younger days I used to carry this idea around like a banner over me.  “Since God Loves me, He won’t give me anything I can’t handle.”    But these days, I think that idea is a load of poo.  There are plenty of moments, and painful experiences in life where I’ve often thought, “Lord, I can’t do this, I CAN’T handle it.”  I begin to feel as though the walls are caving in around me and there is no way to see my way through.  We are absolutely given that which we really can’t handle.  

I shared my thoughts with hubby, as I often do, and I put forth this idea that we’ve all heard.  He agreed with me when I said that there are plenty of things we go through in life that it really feels like we can’t handle…BUT for the grace of God. With God we can travel through the impossible.  In his husbandly wisdom he added that it isn’t God handing us trials in life, it’s just life, it’s a fallen world, it’s the condition of being human.  This put the image in my mind of God sitting upstairs with a deck of UNO cards, one of my favorite games by the way, dealing out cards- twos, threes, fours, and HERE’s a WILD card for YOU!  I don’t imagine that is actually the case, but when we draw the wild card at different moments throughout our lives, he’s there to come alongside and lift up, even carry us through. 

If we look to the Bible, we find plenty of places where mere humans spoke with their creator and called him crazy in the impossible moments.  Lord, are you SURE?  Gideon reminded God that he was not a big man, not a leader, and probably not the right guy to go into battle.  God supplied him with an army, not too big, and told him to have faith because the task would not be impossible.  

God shut the mouths of Daniel’s lions.

He kept Rack, Shack and Benny safe from the flames.

Mary gave birth to Jesus and Joseph stood by her because, “with God nothing shall be impossible” (Luke 1:37).

And the best part is that even though we are weak, God makes us stronger.  It is because we are so imperfect and feeble at times, that we bring glory to God in the trials.  Because we are weak, his strength shines through.  We are told, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

BUT for the grace of God.  In HIS strength we can handle it.  There is nothing we can’t handle WITH GOD.  Life in this world will give us all sorts of things we can’t handle.  It isn’t necessarily God handing us the challenges.  Life as a human being is just life, and God walks us through, waiting to deliver us., He grows us in wisdom while we work through the trials with Him as our guide and ever-present companion and supporter. 

In teaching, we refer to something called “Zones of Proximal Development,” or Learning Zones to simplify a fancy title.  We use these both in planning for student learning, and our own growth as educators.  Zone one is our comfort zone.  This is the place where we are dealing with topics or moments that we are comfortable in or have a lot of knowledge of.  We like sitting in this zone because thoughts flow, we feel comfortable and capable.  

Zone two is the “Zone of Proximal Development.”  This is the zone where we may be a little uncomfortable, but with help, teaching, and encouragement we can handle the topic or learn and grow with a little discomfort, but successfully.  In the world of teaching, this is where we want our students to be.  Ideally, as adults, it's a good place to sit for our growth, too. 

The third zone is the panic zone, or zone of high anxiety.  This is the zone where we have too many emotions to confront the topic up for discussion, or do not yet have the ability to accomplish the task, even with help.  A child who is struggling to read at a second grade level, cannot yet comprehend a sixth grade informational text, for example, anymore than I can discuss bullying in schools objectively if I have children who have been affected by this.  

The best place to be for growth is the middle zone, a little uncomfortable, but able to grow.  If we find ourselves too often in the danger zone, we become exhausted, or poop out, so to speak. The crux of the issue is that to forever sit in our comfort zone, though it feels nice, limits growth.  

God wants us to GROW.

We don’t grow if we sit in our comfort zones.  Life will inevitably push us out of them anyway.  When we enter the panic zone, we look for God when there is nowhere else to turn, seeking guidance in His truth and among those we trust who speak His wisdom.  Doing this, we are pulled out of our panic into a state of learning, we wrestle through,  and we GROW.  

The story of the Silversmith is one that has been passed around in circles for a long time.  I can’t recall when it was that I first heard it, but most likely twenty years ago or so. I was involved in the worship team at my home church, and the song “Refiner’s Fire” was circulating in our set.  The bible verse that inspires that piece is from Malachi 3:3 and says,  “And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.” The story that helps to explain the verse further goes something like this: 

A member of a bible study group wanted to learn more about the process of silversmithing to better understand the meaning behind the verse. They  offered to learn more and inform the group at their next study. He visited a silversmith and watched him at work. He watched the silversmith hold a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. The silversmith explained that in refining silver, you must hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest to burn away all the impurities. The member then thought about God holding us where the flames are the hottest to burn away our impurities. Then he thought again about the verse. “And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.” He asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire and watch the process at all times.

The silversmith answered that not only did he have to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was tested in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. You must leave it long enough to serve the purpose, but not too long as it would destroy it. The member was silent for a moment. Then asked the silversmith, “How do you know when silver is fully refined?” He smiled and answered, “Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it.” (Author Unknown).

I sure can look back on life and see those times when I’ve been put under the fire, removed, and put under the fire again.  Some of the things I have struggled through I’ve been delivered from, others flames leave their mark, or I am still working through in bits and pieces.  So how, when put to the flame, when walking through moments too hot to handle ourselves, do we come to a place where we can be refined like silver?  There are so many ways to meet with God and find solace from the panic zone, but here are three that seem to consistently work for me.

FIrst, Seek counsel from those who are spiritually wise, or also walking with God. Note that each may give you slightly different advice, though they are each walking with the Lord.  When my first marriage was struggling in its early days, I was a young, idealistic, Christian woman and I did not believe that divorce was the first option, but things seemed skewed in the relationship and I was struggling to understand how it was what God wanted for us.  For me.  I certainly didn’t want to just give up, or be looked down upon for failing to reconcile, though.  I sought counsel from two of my best friends and each said slightly different things, though both loved me very much and were seeking women themselves.  One friend leaned to the side that satan works through relationships and all he does is seek to steal that which is good.  I shouldn’t let him do that.  Stand strong and let God heal the relationship.  The other friend, knowing a little more fully, I believe, the extent to which I had already tried to kick satan to the curb, so to speak, and more of the history behind some of the hardship, wanted the best for me and encouraged me to do that which was right for my son and I to keep us healthy and walking with the Lord.  Neither told me what to do.  I certainly wish they had. That, I had to weigh myself.  Each person from which we seek counsel will do so from their own lens of belief, experiences, and relationship with us.  

Second, Talk to God. And I don’t mean thank-you-for-the-food kind of prayer.  “Thank you Lord for that,  please be with me in this, help me with etc.”  is great, but I mean MORE.  God wants to be and can be your best friend.  Talk to him as such.  One of the ways I journal is to imagine that I am talking to, or writing to, God.  Many times when we keep a daily journal, or lock and key diary, we seem to be writing to an invisible someone.  At one point, I just decided that I was writing to God, telling him about my day, asking questions.  This changed the way I encountered God.  No longer was I saying prayers at night and falling asleep before the conversation was finished.  It’s a good way to fall asleep, I suppose, but I always felt like I missed HIS side of the conversation that way.  By journaling my conversation, I can wait for the spirit voice, or go back and reread later to wait for it on the same subject the next day. In this way, I feel like I am having a conversation because I can record the things I think I am hearing from God and look back to try out their validity later.  DId I hear that right?  The other way that sometimes works is simply go for a walk and let your mind wander to Him.  When I talk to God like this it can sometimes sound like, “So Lord, Ezra is being a real pill today.  What do you suppose I should do about that?” God says, “Love on him.”  Okay, yeah I know, but how do I FIX it?  “Keep Trying.”  Well, shoot.  Okay. That leads into point three.  

Third, Keep Trying. This sounds obvious, but I can remember times when I was ready to quit.  There were moments where laying in bed with the covers over my head seemed much more edifying than getting up and dealing with the circus around me. There was a time in my life when the only moments that felt calm in my spirit were the ones where I was asleep.  Just after the relationship hub-bub I talked about earlier, anxiety became my constant companion, which was of course extremely stressful while raising a spirited three-year old.  Side note: I have three spirited boys, and I used to blame someone else’s genetics for that, but now, I’m not so sure that’s entirely fair.  Funny what happens when God starts to reveal new things to us!  Anyway, I lived in a state of constant anxiety.  I remember being at school during my prep period, putting up a bulletin board, and my heart started to beat extremely fast, my body felt hot, tears pricked at my eyes, and I wanted to be anywhere but there, somewhere that felt less chaotic and much safer.  I had to look straight forward to the task at hand and repeat in my mind, “right now I am putting up a bulletin board, I’m just putting up a bulletin board,” over and over, until the panic of all that would come next had subsided.  I lived one moment at a time, quite literally.  When God tests us, whether in moments that feel like this, or something else, we check our moves with Godly wisdom and walk one step, one moment at a time.  There is no other way, and God does not expect us to have the answers right away.  In fact, I think he quite enjoys the slow reveal until one day we see it all open up before us and feel wonder at how far we have come.  God gets the glory when he whispers in our ears, “See! That’s what I was up to!.” 

The human spirit is incredibly resilient.  In thinking about that zone of discomfort, the zone of high anxiety and panic, we must recognize a very important fact.  I have learned, and I think we all have seen it in the last few years, that the human spirit is incredibly resilient.  RESILIENT has become one of my favorite words.  God has given us brains that are awesomely malleable, not just as we grow into adults, for most of us know that children’s brains grow at immense and amazing rates, but even as adults.  We can rewire our brains.  God has created us this way for a purpose. 

However, hiding behind that wonderful word, resilient, is another word I have become familiar with, as have many others, TRAUMA.  I like this word a lot less, but there it is and it has to be acknowledged.  Trauma often keeps us trapped, and even more so when we don’t recognize it. The devil works within our trauma to  keep us trapped.  Our trauma sends us back to the panic zone.  Triggered by trauma?  Satan is pushing a button.  Released by your resilient nature?  That’s God lifting you up and pushing you forward.   Remember to find people to stand in the gap for you, lean into the Lord, and make your way forward one step at a time.  Slowly and surely He will refine us until we reflect his nature.